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Change and Transition
People achieve successful transitions when they adjust to changes through the healthy navigation of each of three transition stages of Endings, the Neutral Zone and New Beginnings (William Bridges ). When we fail to accomplish the essential tasks of each stage, we can get stuck in an incomplete and unsatisfying transition. This failure cripples our ability to live a satisfying life in our new area.
Endings: Our reaction to change always begins with the Ending. The Ending phase typically begins when we first learn about an impending move. Right away we begin to think about everything we must do to complete the logistical challenges of uprooting from one place and settling in another. At the same time, we typically feel a sense of loss about the life we are leaving behind and the prospect of this loss triggers a period of grief. The experience of grief includes:
- Shock – “I can’t believe that we have to move just as we were getting to like it here.”
- Anger – “I am just sick and tired of moving and I can’t imagine doing it again.
- Anxiety – “I don’t know how I am going to get everything ready.”
- Sadness – “I am going to miss – people, places, activities, events etc
- Fear – “I am used to the people here, how am I going to get along with people there?
- Confusion and disorientation- Expatriating employees and spouses are especially vulnerable
These feelings are uncomfortable, even painful, but also normal. Emotions are not negative in themselves, only in how they can affect us when we either ignore them or cling on to them past their natural life. Feeling anger and sadness does not mean that there is something wrong with us or with the move. Life as it is, even good life, often produces uncomfortable feelings. We don’t need to run from these feelings, but to learn from them.
How to do this?
- Culture Curve
Families that are relocating to another country are particularly affected by several of these stress triggers. Repatriating families also realize that coming home is not like putting on an old and perfectly fitting glove. Even when the surroundings are familiar, returning to them after several years of being in a foreign country is likely to be a jolt. And this does not even take into account the changes that the repatriates themselves have undergone.
So I imagine even for my wife who is South African and going back to S.A after five years is not also not going to be easy. Therefore the stress afflicting family members in domestic relocation is a concern for both expatriates and repatriates. The feelings are the same—anxiety, depression, anger, sadness—and they may even seem more frighteningly. These are the feelings of stress that come together and create what we call culture shock.
Therefore culture shock is not caused or triggered, by an external incident or situation. It is the feelings about these events and situations that cause culture shock. Culture shock is manufactured and felt by how we react to the change of living in a foreign culture for an extended period of time.
Among studies done to measure the amount of stress caused by several common life events, Relocation ranks third in intensity, after death of a close relative and divorce.
Here is why MOVING IS STRESSFUL:
- Its hard work—selling a house, securing housing in the new location, packing and transporting family goods and the endless necessary tasks of “settling in.”
- The children, whether eight or eighteen, need extra attention.
- It is a time of saying goodbye to friends and to familiar and beloved places.
- The entire family needs to adjust to all the differences in the new location. Families moving to another country can expect almost everything to be different.
- Nearly every aspect of common family life changes: daily routines, schools, community associations, friendships, even the physical landscape.
What do you think, give us your thoughts and experiences.
I was curious to know what proof the May 21st Doomsday followers are using. According to their website “www.familyradio.com” they have what they are calling “Another infallible proof”. Continue reading
“Watch and be sober.”
First was the earthquake in Haiti, now it is Japan accompanied with the Nuclear leak. The crisis in the Middle East is not yet over, from Tunisia the fire is still spreading as the people in power refuse to give up power. Right here in Kenya the ICC issue and the politics are still very hot, while people in the Northern Kenya are hoping it will rain soon as the animals die and people starve. It is possible to come up with all sorts of reasons why these things are happening including the scientific reasons behind this. But the more I have been following the news the more I think about what the Bible has to say;
- For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: Continue reading
In 1939 Ethiopia only had 150 believers, today there are 16 million including the orthodox . In the same year there was only one Church and now they have over 33,000 Churches.
There were100 missionaries in the world in 1800s and 97, 732 by 2001. Of the world 6912 languages, there are 4661 languages with Bibles in their own languages.
It is amazing that of the 77,000 Christians added to the Church every day , 91% are from Africa.
God is working in our generation and we are privileged to have the greatest opportunities in terms of technology for spreading the gospel of all time.
The remaining task: 67% of the World are not yet following Jesus Christ, they are lost without Christ.
How can you be involved: Pray for the lost everyday, Share Christ with your neighbors, Model authentic Christian life and give financially towards the gospel and mission work.
“Count your curses one by one and see what the Devil has done”,- John Ng’ang’a.
I have been pondering over these words since i heard them this week. Surely the devil is just a Liar. Lies are his native language and he is the father of lies. (John 8:44 NIV). Sometimes we are quick to believe his lies rather than, “Count our blessings one by one and see what God has done.”